Library · Self-Assessments
A reflection on attachment style.
A brief reflection drawn from the Bowlby–Ainsworth–Main tradition of attachment research. The internal-working-model lineage, not the dating-site material.
Sixteen short statements, around three minutes. Pick the response closest to how things tend to feel for you, not how you wish they felt. Your answers stay on your screen — nothing is stored or sent.
A reflection, not a diagnosis. Real attachment assessment uses extended interview methods (the Adult Attachment Interview) and clinical judgement. Use this as a starting point for thinking, not a label.
Pick the response closest to how things tend to feel for you.
I can rely on people close to me when something difficult happens.
I often worry that people I’m close to will pull away if I’m not careful.
I prefer to handle difficult things on my own rather than involve others.
I want closeness and find myself pushing it away at the same time.
When I think about past relationships, I can hold both the good and the difficult parts of them at once.
When someone matters to me, I can find myself thinking about them more than I’d like.
Strong emotions in others can feel intrusive or excessive to me.
My reactions to people close to me sometimes surprise me — I’m not sure where they come from.
Asking for help feels natural, not weak.
I get knocked off balance more by other people’s moods than I think I should.
I tend to keep most relationships at a comfortable distance.
There are parts of my early life I find difficult to think about, and they intrude when I don’t expect them to.
I generally feel comfortable being on my own and being close to others.
I find it hard to feel settled until I know where I stand with someone.
I don’t dwell much on my childhood or family — what’s done is done.
I can feel safe with someone one moment and on edge the next, without an obvious reason.