Library
Reading, listening, learning.
Articles, audio practices, and long-form essays on insight, loneliness, burnout, relationships, cross-cultural life and the patterns that shape adult life. Written for psychologically minded readers who want substance, not slogans.
When Love Feels Distant: On the Long Middle of Long Relationships
One of the quietest griefs in my consulting room. Not the affair, not the divorce. The slow falling-out-of-aliveness between two people who still, in…
When the First Excitement Is Over
There is a stage that follows the first chapter of every long relationship that rarely gets a name. Neuroscience calls it pair-bonding. Couples call…
Who’s talking, and who’s answering? A map of relationship dynamics
We each speak from one of three places: a Parent (rules, care, criticism), an Adult (calm, present, problem-solving), or a Child (feelings, play, hurt).…
The Nervous System Curve. A map of your stress response
An interactive map of the three nervous-system states, Freeze, Fight or Flight, and Social Engagement, and how to notice where you are.
Lonely in Love: The Disconnection No One Talks About
A reflection on why relationships can feel empty despite closeness, exploring disconnection and paths to deeper intimacy.
How satisfied are you in your relationship?
A four-item reflection drawn from the Couples Satisfaction Index (CSI-4), a research-validated brief measure of relationship satisfaction. About 1 minute.
What attachment actually is, and what it isn’t
What attachment is, in the clinical sense: implicit relational knowing, the four patterns, and what shifts through therapy, parenting and steady relationships.
A reflection on attachment style
A brief reflection drawn from the Bowlby–Ainsworth–Main tradition of attachment research. The internal-working-model lineage, not the dating-site material. Sixteen short statements, around three minutes.…
It’s complex
A short essay on the phrase clients reach for when they are talking around trauma. What “it’s complex” usually means, why I am glad…
